Cure for Your Match Day Blues

Here's what happened when we searched Google images for "The Match". Hopefully, you felt - not necessarily looked - like this guy on Monday, and not like the pic we didn't post of the girl with her head in her hands.

On Monday, March 12th, 4th year medical students all over the United States logged on to find out whether they did, or did not, match into any residency program.

For those of you who did not raise your arms with joy, keep the faith - at least you're not that dude in the picture. Also, if you want it bad enough, there are plenty of things you can do to improve your chances of matching next year or even filling an OpenSpot later on this year. Here are 4 courses of action to start:

1. Find somewhere to do research. But do your research first. Unfortunately, toiling under the assistant biochem tecaher's assistant most of the year will not serve you well. However, working for the assistant program director may yield great results.

2. Call Around - Every program that has OpenSpots does not necessarily advertise them well or enter the scramble or even try very hard to fill them. So, how hard is it to make 25 phone calls to programs in and around your area and in your specialty. Also, you might consider calling programs from a specialty that you could see yourself doing but may not have been your first choice.

3. Call a Trusted Mentor - This might be a good time to call that teacher or professor in your life that has some connections and work it! You would be amazed how much can change with a phone call from a friend. Swallow your pride, hide that ego and use every possible connection you have to see if you can get a break. Believe us, others did it!

4. Go to OpenSpots.com - Yeahg, it's a shameless plug but it's the most helpful webiste out there if you are post-scramble and pre-unemployment. We spend all the time finding these poorly advertised spots and you can view them for a paltry fee (just enuf to keep our servers functioning).

Top 5 Most Annoying Hospital Noises

1. Telemetry – Beep, beep, beep, beep, Booonng! Booonng! Booonng! Annoyed yet? Multiply that times 400,000 and you have recreated the telemetry floor experience. Sitting next to alarming monitors and trying to write your notes is almost as torturous as resisting the urge to put your foot through one of them.

2. The Unanswered Phone – Will no one pick up that friggin phone? Nurses and ward clerks have developed some weird defense mechanism to a ringing phone. Not only do they lack the natural guilt that should go along with ignoring someone’s call but they almost relish the annoyance that others feel after the 9th, 10th and even 11th ring.

3. The Repeating Patient – I know, this one will not make the Top 5 Politically Correct list but at least we’re honest. Whether it is the aye-fibbers (“aye-aye-aye-aye”) or the Help-Me’s (no explanation needed), hearing a patient yell anything over and over and over again often makes you want to gauge your own eyes (or ears) out. If you’re lucky, they might throw in an inappropriate phrase occasionally to keep you on your toes.

4. Suction – Do we really need to elaborate on this one?

5. Pager – This website didn’t get its name for nothing. Go ahead and switch the beeper tone all you want, it won’t help. Even more annoying is when someone’s pager goes off in grand rounds and everyone in the room checks their pager, even if they are 100 yards away. Putting your pager on vibrate solves all of the above problems, except of course the annoyingness of being paged. We fear the day of downloadable pager tones.